I Never Wanted to be a Mom

Growing up, being a mom was never on my radar. I was an only child so I didn’t have much experience with young children. I never babysat as a teenager, because I didn’t have the patience to play with kids and babies just weren’t my thing.

When I was five and in kindergarten, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a teacher. As I got older, even though I never wanted to have kids of my own, I knew that I wanted to shape the lives of other people’s children. I could teach them reading, writing, and arithmetic and then send them back home to their parents at the end of the day! Just kidding!

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Being a teacher is hands down the best job I could have ever dreamed of doing. Over the last 9 years, I’ve had the privilege of molding, inspiring, and loving over 300 third graders. It is certainly not the easiest job in the world, but it is always rewarding and never dull.

I met Frank in 2011 and knew pretty much right away that I wanted to marry him. The down side? He had two children from his previous marriage. What?! I never wanted to be a mom and certainly NOT a step-mom! Well, God’s plans are always better than the ones I created for myself! Malcolm and Addison are the BEST! They are witty, fun, and have the biggest hearts! Of course there are challenging times, but it has been such an honor watching these amazing kids grow up over the last several years.

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Bringing those 2 into my life was God’s way of preparing me for another adventure He wanted me to embark on. In April 2014, after many, many months of praying for guidance, we decided to have Frank’s vasectomy reversed. We figured if God wanted us to have a baby, He would give us one. We didn’t expect Him to be quite so fast, because we got pregnant less than 2 months later! Frank jokes that he wishes we had a little bit more time to “practice!”

I was going to be a mom whether I thought I was going to be good at it or not! I’m not going to lie, I was terrified. I loved being pregnant, but it couldn’t last forever and I was going to be responsible for another human being, one who needed and relied on me for everything 24/7! Was I cut out for this new job?!

Ever since Bruce was born I’ve embraced my new role as Mommy and I love it. Just like being a step mom, being a bio mom comes with a ton of challenges and up hill battles, but holy cow, when Bruce smiles at me I melt…

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Recently, God has been giving us “flashing billboards” and laying it on our hearts that instead of being a third grade teacher to a new set of 22 8 and 9 year olds, I need to stay home with our son. He was telling me to leave my teaching career and fully commit to a different job that I’m still not sure I am any good at! Talk about a leap of faith!

This week I resigned my contract with LISD through tears and with shaking hands. As I say goodbye to my past and the only job I have ever wanted to do, I am excited to jump wholeheartedly into my new role as stay at home mom. Will there be trials and challenges? Absolutely! But, God has blessed me with the most amazing little boy and I am so thankful to have the opportunity to teach, inspire, and love on him everyday!

I never wanted to be a mom, but God’s plans are the best plans and He knows me better than I know myself. He trusts me to be Bruce’s mommy while he is here on Earth and I promise to be the best mom I can be! I am thrilled to be on this new journey! 

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2 thoughts on “I Never Wanted to be a Mom

  1. Brittany Brooks says:

    Just beautiful! You are a wonderful Mom to all 3 of your “littles”… Two that are not so little anymore 🙂 God knows what he’s doing!

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