When I was a kid I wanted the Nina Camping Barbie (with matching camper) SO badly! I begged my mom and dad, I begged Santa, and I told everyone I knew how badly I wanted this. I even snuck into my parent’s closet (where toys were often hid) to search for Nina. My sister worried I’d be spoiling Christmas, but I thought if I found her, I could rest easy. Do you remember wanting anything that badly?
Now, my Christmas list looks a bit different, but the ache for what’s on it hasn’t changed. I still ache for these things and tell everyone in my life how badly I want them in hopes that my wishes will be granted.
Dear Santa, this Christmas I want…
1. My nephew to be born this week, healthy and strong
2. My student loans and credit card debt to be forgiven
3. My best friend to be able to eat without worrying how her stomach will react and for an angel to heal her ulcers and hurts
4. My stepson to discover something he can be passionate about
5. My brother-in-law to be accepted into the Game Warden Academy
6. A president who respects the constitution, values character over skin color, and doesn’t have a hidden agenda
7. Schools that inspire learning and teach students how to be thinkers and creators
8. A car that doesn’t smell like it’s about to catch fire and grunt at me while I drive it
9. A society that takes a stand against the media and boycotts trash on tv, in music, and in games
10. For infertility treatments to be covered by insurance companies and to hear those magical words from my doctors, “You’re pregnant!”
As Christmas nears closer each year, we tell our kids if they were “good” this year then Santa will bring them gifts and treats. The only problem with this is that as an adults we start to wonder if we’ve been bad and that’s why we’re not getting what we want. I think to myself, “I’m going to be really, really good this month and maybe things will work”, but then when they don’t, I think it’s something I’ve done wrong.
No matter what I do, I can’t make a baby. No amount of caroling, gingerbread house making, ornament hanging, or letters to Santa will put a baby under the tree for me.
We all know Santa has helpers, right? Well, perhaps Dr. Silverberg is one of Santa’s helpers. Maybe Texas Fertility Center is one of his toyshops and perhaps tomorrow when I go in for my consult they’ll see just how badly I want this and they’ll know how good I’ve been this year and maybe, just maybe, I’ll get it next year.