Keep Up the Mommy Wars

Please put down your pitch forks and hold those tomatoes for dinner rather than throwing them at me. Hear me out. I used to be on the bandwagon of “stop the mommy wars” too, simply because that was the only side ever argued publicly and I hadn’t really though it through. But, when I think about it I start to think the so called “mommy wars” might be exactly what our society needs. 

So, dare I say it, keep up the mommy wars!

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Women naturally compete with one another; it’s written in our DNA and there’s no way around it. When we dress up to go out for an evening, we rarely are dressing up for the men, we’re dressing for the women. We exercise and eat right for health, yes, but many of us also desire looking great in our swimsuits and cocktail dresses around our girlfriends. If I want shinier hair I’ll ask my friend with the shiniest hair what she uses. I save the recipes my health nut friend posts on facebook because I’d love to be as healthy and toned as she is. I watch the way my best friend meets new people and admire how she instantly puts them at ease. I try to be more like that.

The point I’m getting at is that a little competition is good so long as we’re not putting one another down.

So, why try to stop competition among mothers? Sure, there are women who make certain choices solely based on how great they will come off to other mothers, but there are also women who are just kick ass moms! A trained eye can tell the difference. If we keep chanting, “stop the mommy wars”, it might make those really amazing moms insecure about doing their best for fear they’ll be ridiculed as a sancti-mommy or some other ridiculous term.

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There are moms who get up every morning and make breakfast for their children before school. They pack their lunches, write notes to put in their backpacks, and make whimsical snacks they either made up, or pulled off Pinterest, each afternoon. They have a homemade dinner on the table every night. Is this mom competing in some hypothetical mommy war or is she doing what she feels is best for her family? Some women gossip behind her back and accuse her of showing off, but maybe they just need to step it up! Maybe you’re a working mom and don’t have time to make meals, but can you leave notes? Can you decorate the lunchable with stickers? Be the best you for your child.

There’s the mom who throws the birthday parties with a spread fit for a king, handmade decorations, custom dress or outfit for the birthday boy/girl, and invitations that rival those for a royal wedding. Maybe she is a mommy war competitor, but maybe she just goes all out for birthdays because growing up she never had a party. Maybe she knows how special a birthday celebration can make a child feel and she’s willing to put in the man hours to make it great. Instead of mocking her, join her. Throwing a wonderful party for a child is not something that should be shamed.

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Some moms decide to birth naturally because they know it’s what’s best for babies, not because they look down on those who had a c-section. Don’t assume they’re trying to prove anything by making that choice. Some moms cloth diaper because they’ve done the research and know the benefits for their child’s health, the environment, and their finances, not because they’re trying to “win” the mommy war. These moms may also cook organic baby food and breastfeed exclusively for a year. If this makes another mom feel inadequate, step it up! Again, do what you can do to make the best decisions for your child.

Shaming each other for our choices as mothers? Bad. Acknowledging each other’s choices and being aware of our own inadequacies? Good.

We could use a lil’ healthy competition in the world of motherhood so keep it up. Share your recipes, pin those DIY projects, tell us about your triumphant parenting skills. Some moms are just better than others, either get over it, or do something about it. We should acknowledge these moms, watch them, try to learn from them, and keep raising the bar higher for motherhood. We should keep trying to be more patient, more creative, more balanced, more kind, a better cook, a better teacher, more prepared…keep up the mommy wars (with kindness)!

Stay gold, 

That Girl

Itzy Ritzy Gets Me Everytime!

Itzy Ritzy is the ritz of the baby world and a favorite of celebs like Jenifer Garner, Gisele Bundchen, Angelina Jolie, and Gwen Stefani (to name only a few). In a storefront I find myself pulled by a force bigger than me straight towards the Itzy Ritzy selection. And, this year, at the ABC Expo, I was a woman obsessed when I saw their newest additions!

Itzy Ritzy gets me every time!

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Get a glimpse at these prints!

I’m a glam girl and ever since I was a little girl I told myself, “I will NOT be one of those moms that forgos fashion when she has kids”. Itzy Ritzy keeps moms looking haute  with on fleek prints like chevron, boho, clean/classic stripes, moroccan nights (my personal favorite), and mod circles. Their apparel tends to be cleannd modern for moms, while the baby gear takes a more whimsical approach for the kiddos.

FUNction!

Jessica Alba, a die hard Itzy Ritzy fan, put infinity scarfs on everyone’s fashion radar years ago. But, when interviewed about her day look she downplayed the fashion part of things, and credited the scarves for function. She says the scarves were not only cute, they were damn near essentials for moms! They doubled as headwraps when she couldn’t wash her hair, nursing covers on-the-fly, and even a cover-up when a baby had spit up or covered her with food. Itzy Ritzy has a FULL line of lightweight, breathable infinity scarves that double as nursing covers. They come in classic, clean stripes, or modern patterns.

  • Everyday scarf that is convenient to wear and use when nursing
  • Allows maintained eye contact and airflow for your baby
  • Cotton and polyester jersey knit blend with finished edges
  • Machine washable and line dry recommended
  • Comes with a warranty against any manufacturing defects at the time of purchase

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The Carseat Canopy AND Tummy Time Mat

Sure, you could just use a swaddle blanket as a carseat cover (environmental shield), but A. they’re not as cute, B. they don’t stay put, and C. They don’t double as tummy time mats because they’re too thin. Like I said, Itzy Ritzy rocks in FUNction! Their new carseat canopies come in adorable prints like anchors aweigh, chev-rock pink, or grey chevron (my fave), in breathable muslin. They have a simple hook and eye closure, protect from sun, rain, and germs, and are easily removable when you need a changing mat or tummy time mat.

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Snack Time (in more ways than one)

Itzy Ritzy gets it! They know your baby snacks on-the-go and often snacks on you. They’ve always had the adorable “Snack Happens” reusable bags, but now they have reusable baby food pouches and even teething jewelry for the mom that feels like she’s morphed into her child’s personal teething toy. These jewelry pieces are non-toxic and safe for munching munchkins! Cause they know teething happens
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The Snack Happens bags can be stuffed with fruit, veggies, cheese, or dry snacks for an eco-friendly, chic alternative to the BPA-laden ziploc. They’re machine washable, durable, have a secure zipper closure, and the bags are so cute your kiddo might actually look forward to their celery snack! What does the fox say? Dee-dee-dee-da-hee-hee-haw-haw…you get it, right?!

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I saved the best for last! Moccassins!!! 

These are currently only available for pre-order until January so…get ’em while they’re hot! Pesonally, I don’t want to pay $75 for baby mocassins like some other brands. Itzy Ritzy moccasins are just as cute (maybe cuter) and definitely won’t break the bank.

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  • Super soft, breathable and durable leather
  • Easy on, easy off with elastic opening
  • Removable padded insert for comfort and to extend the life of the shoe as baby’s foot grows
  • Signature Itzy Ritzy chevron embossed soles for style
  • Adorable gift box packaging makes Itzy Ritzy moccasins the perfect baby shower, new mom, christening or first birthday gift
  • Spot clean only
  • Available in 0-6m, 6-12m, 12-18m

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Go straight to ItzyRitzy.com now and peruse the latest and greatest! Try not to drool!

Stay gold Ponyboy, 

That Girl

Baby Stuff I Despise

I’m a pretty chill person for the most part- mellow, go with the flow, pick my battles. I eat clean as often as I can, but I have never said “no” to pizza or Taco Bell. I prefer organic products on my skin, but if I’m traveling I’ll use whatever lotion or body soap is available. And, I try to keep environmental toxins to a minimum, but I’ve been known to use diffusers in my home that are everything BUT organic.

This being said, there are things made for babies that I REFUSE to budge on and will NEVER, under any circumstances, use with my own children.

Non-organic ‘Sposies

Disposable diapers are bad for our wallets and Mother Earth, but they are downright POISONOUS to babies. Sodium polyacrylate, dioxins (found in agent orange), chlorine, dyes, phthalates, bisphenyl A (BPA), toluene, dipentene, styrene, etc etc etc. These toxins have been scientifically proven to cause endocrine disruptions, hormonal imbalances, exacerabate asthma and allergies, cause respiratory infections, and suggested as culprits for the rise in childhood cancers and infertility. I cannot, in good faith, pull a plastic, chemical laden diaper, out of a plastic bag, and place it against my baby’s skin (his largest organ). Knowing these things are leaking into his bloddstream for the first few years of life gives me the heeby jeebies. I’m packing newborn cloth diapers for the hospital and organic ‘sposies just in case my boys have to spend some time in the NICU. This is a non-negotiable.

Plastic Bottles

I cringe when I’m doing a family consult, or caring for a newborn, and have to insert a plastic bottle into their mouth. I don’t judge the family, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel guilty the ENTIRE time I was feeding the baby. The bottle will have been heated in either a warmer, or a mug of hot water, which releases the bisphenyl A into the formula or milk. Blech! BPAs can have negative effects on the bran and human behavior, increase the risk of cancer in later life, cause heart problems, and many experts are looking into the correlation between BPAs and obesity, ADHD, diabetes, and early onset puberty. Even BPA free plastics are being made with BPAs cousin, a chemical that has not yet been proven safe using longitudinal studies. Eek! For me, it’s glass all the way!

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“Mainstream” Toys

This is one of my no-nos that my mother has a hard time with. Whenever we’re in a store like Target or Buy Buy Baby and she’s ooing and ahhing over some of the toys, I just shake my head and tell her, “You know my babies won’t be playing with those, right?” I can hear my readers (especially my friends) now going, “Chelsea, c’mon! Toys are too toxic?!” Yes and no. I imagine I’ll budge when it comes to toys from time to time and let a few non-organics into the home. Toys that have been used, washed, played with before tend to be aired out and the toxins from the plastics, dyes, paints, and fabrics are less; however, I’m really not into toys with batteries or requiring electricity. You won’t see an activity gym that lights up, spins, or sings songs in my nursery. You won’t see that “left foot, right foot” bear in my toy box, and I guarantee my playroom won’t smell like a Sears or toy store because that “new toy smell” is toxic. Not only do I want nontoxic toys, but I want classic toys that are open ended and encourage creativity, imagination, and free play. I don’t want my child’s play to be limited and their imagination to only be able to go as far as the manufacturer of the toy allows.

Whatever happened to lincoln logs, cardboard bricks, wooden toys, dolls, dress up boxes full of vintage clothes, pretend food (that isn’t scented), puzzles, art, clay, and musical instruments?!

Here’s a sneak peak at the registry I’ve put together for my boys. Hopefully, by viewing this you’ll see that there’s alot of really cool, modern, and CLEAN options out there for babies!

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I could also add to this list how much I hate boy’s clothing with duckies, trains, polar bears in party hats, or dinosaurs. Oooh, or how ’bout cliche phrases like “mommy loves me” or “daddy’s MVP”?! Finger in my throat gag! Am I being a bitch or can I play the pregnancy hormone card?

Let me know your thoughts. I LOVE to hear from you!

That Girl

Jelly the Pug

I’m a sucker for a good grass roots story so when I asked a children’s clothing company how they came up with the name, “Jelly the Pug”, I fell in love! They may be one of the top sellers in the industry now, but they started by selling their unique designs at farmer’s markets. The designer would bring along her pug, “Jelly”, and the child customers aways wanted to visit, “Jelly the Pug”. 

How cute is that?!

What’s even cuter is the designs! Mismatched prints and colors are all the rage these days for little girls and Jelly the Pug’s designs are on point! Or is “on fleek” the latest catch phrase to mean they kick ass? Either way, Jelly the Pug has mastered the Anthropologie-esque look for the wee ones in our lives.

What I love most about Jelly the Pug is that the clothing can be adjusted for various sizes as well as seasons. For example, a 4T dress can be worn by a 3year old as a midlength or maxi dress the first year, then worn on it’s own (with bloomers underneath) and worn as a tunic with leggings the following year. The dresses can be worn on their own when the weather is warm, but add leggings as it cools off, then add boots and a cardigan during colder, winter months. The colors themselves are so bright and versatile, they can be worn year round.

The price of Jelly the Pug clothing is unbeatable! Similar boutique clothing can run you $40-50 per dress, which I think is WAY too much for child’s clothing, but Jelly the Pug is 1/4-1/2 those prices. They’ve got stuff for boys, girls, toddlers, kids, sleepwear, holiday gear, even matching clothing for dolls. Visit the Jelly the Pug website to find a retailer near you OR peruse Zulilly, but be prepared to act fast as their clothing goes FAST during flash sales.

Are you diggin’ this brand, too?